I admit it. I failed.
I set out for this newsletter to be a roughly weekly offering, yet I’ve written nothing here since E. Elephants back in August 2023.
While I’m admitting to this failure, I probably also need to own up to shortcomings in a variety of other things I meant to do in the last few months, notably: daily pilates or qigong; consistent piano practice; writing at least 3000 words a week of my current work in progress novel; eating mostly vegetarian food; not eating biscuits; becoming an expert felt artist and/or spoon carver (possibly a long shot in the five months since I began); learning to play the Native American flute; becoming proficient at free-motion sewing; recovering from ME . . .
And yet.
Truth be told, I’m mostly fine with all this lack of success (please refer back to A. Acceptance). Like most of us, I’ve consistently failed at things throughout my life. The list is long so I won’t bore you with it. However, last month, I reached the age at which, when I was young, I knew you were very old indeed — sixty ;-) — and guess what, my many moments of uselessness didn’t stop me from getting here. In fact, I’m sure my insufficiencies have meant that I’m a stronger, more confident and happier person that I would have been if life had just swum along swimmingly with nary a ripple of frustration.
At the same time as making me feel stupid, clumsy or talentless, failure has also changed me for the better. It has:
made me more determined and resilient
taught me humility
encouraged me to ask for help
helped me work out what I really enjoy or what I really want to do
given me courage
forced me to be imaginative
prompted me look again or look more closely or take more notice
caused me to make more effort, to try harder, to improve
sparked me to listen more carefully
nudged me to be open to other options and possibilities
So, does this mean I will be writing here weekly without fail from now on? Probably not. But, because I’ve returned to write this newsletter, I know it that it has a positive part to play in my life currently, and I hope, therefore, that it might be the same for anyone who reads my words.
GROWING
Failure has taught me
Success can bring happiness
I need both to grow
Thanks for reading. Be kind to yourself.
